The Box – Rent
This movie’s existence makes a lot more sense once you realize it is adapted from a short story that was adapted into an episode of The Twilight Zone. Cameron Diaz and James Marsden (nice to see you, Cyclops!) star as a couple living in 1970s Richmond, Virginia struggling to get by when a man shows up and gives them a mysterious box. He tells them that if they press the button on the box, then they will get $1 million but someone they don’t know will die. Moral conflict and creepy horror movie stuff ensues. I’m intrigued by this film just because I want to see how well Cameron pulls off the Southern accent.
A Christmas Carol – No
No offense to Jim Carrey, but A Muppet Christmas Carol is the only Christmas Carol I will ever need.
The Fourth Kind – No
The Men Who Stare at Goats – See
George Clooney teams up with a bagillion glorious actors in this comedy flick about a secret military outfit training soldiers to develop psychokinetic powers. No explanation should be needed as to why this is a “see” movie.
Precious – Rent
Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, Precious tells the story of a 16-year-old pregnant girl trying to find a reason to live in her life of poverty and abuse. This film also marks the return of Mariah Carey to the big screen. But don’t let Glitter fool you—she pulls off her role really well here. It’s hard enough getting through the trailer, so I definitely would rather watch this one at home with a plentiful supply of tissues where my sobs won’t distract anyone from the movie.
2012 – No
I hate end of the world movies. Plus, I am still bitter over seeing a trailer for this in theaters at the beginning of the year and screaming to Pedro, “THEY’RE DOING IT!!!!!!!!!! THEY’RE DOING A REAL X-FILES MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!”
Pirate Radio – See
An American DJ helps out British rock lovers when their government bans rock music from the radio by broadcasting from the high seas. I’ve been reading that the American version of this film is drastically different from the British version (titled The Boat That Rocked), so it might be interesting to see both versions and compare! Anyway, this story really interests me and I am totally there.
Fantastic Mr. Fox – Rent
A group of furry woodland creatures take on a nasty farmer. This animated family film based on the Roald Dahl tale is directed by Wes Anderson and stars favorites like George Clooney, Bill Murray and Meryl Streep (AAAAAHHHH!!!). Think about the awesomeness of The Royal Tenenbaums coupled with the ability to feel like a kid again. You’re there, too. I know it.
The Messenger – Rent (Maybe)
Ben Foster stars in this film that examines the aftermath of war on families. Foster plays an Army soldier assigned to deliver casualty notifications to next of kin who falls in love with one of the widows he visits. It will be interesting to see the reception of this film, which is already getting outstanding reviews, in comparison with last year’s Taking Chances and the upcoming Tobey Maguire film Brothers. The only reason I say I will maybe rent this one is because I don’t know if I will ever be in the mood to watch a film that will make me cry this much.
That Evening Sun – No
An elderly Southern farmer gets out of his old age home only to return to his farm and discover that his son has leased it to one of his enemies. The two become embroiled in their two-man war. While this film looks like it contains incredibly powerful performances all around amongst other great things like writing and so on, it just doesn’t genuinely interest me. But Dixie Carter is in it! And that’s something!
Uncertainty – Rent
I don’t have to watch a trailer for a Joseph Gordon-Levitt film to know that I am going to rent it. That being said, this movie likes like Cellular meets Sliding Doors, which is both incredibly awkward AND interesting! I will definitely rent it, but I realize that this could be completely full of fail. But I doubt it. But it could. But I really doubt it.
Women in Trouble – Rent
This is basically Crash for ladies and sans racism (at least judging from the trailer). Following a day in the lives of 10 women in Los Angeles, this all-star cast includes Joseph Gordon-Levitt (I know, right?), Carla Gugino, Marley Shelton, Sarah Clarke, Simon “My Show Copied Psych” Baker, Elizabeth Berkley and Josh Brolin. Aside from being interested to see how all of these stories of women dealing with big problems mesh together into one film, there are too many amazingly talented people in this for it to NOT be a good movie.
The Young Victoria – Rent
Emily Blunt steps into the spotlight as the lead in this biopic of Queen Victoria during her early years of reign and her romance with Prince Albert (played by Rupert Friend). History buffs, delight that there is finally another British royalty movie but that it is not about Queen Elizabeth!
The Blind Side – SEE
Based on the life of current offensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens Michael Oher, Quinton Aaron stars as an African-American teen who finds success after being taken in and shown love by a family in Memphis, Tennessee. Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw also star as the couple who adopt Oher and help turn his life around. This basically looks like Sandra’s role of a lifetime.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon – No
Absolutely not.
Planet 51 – Rent (Maybe)
Another cute animated film about aliens for 2009. This one turns the tables with a story about an astronaut who lands on a planet only to discover it is exactly like Earth except with an alien race rather than humans. So, he is the alien. Big names doing voice acting like Gary Oldman and John Cleese. It looks cute and I might rent it, but probably not as there is just too much to see.
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans – No
So, there are a few things wrong with this film in my eyes. First and foremost, Nick Cage’s hair (it’s STILL bad, yes) and, second, Eva Mendes (I just can’t stand her and I don’t know why). Cage plays a cop who gets hooked on drugs and lands himself in a whole lot of trouble. Sounds interesting, but there’s just not enough holding it there for me. If it gets insanely good reviews, I might rent it.
Broken Embraces – No
A foreign language film that tells the story of a writer who “writes, lives and loves in darkness” (WTF?) and was in a horrific car crash 14 years ago in which the love of his life died. The trailer makes it look like some crazy Paul Thomas Anderson shit is happening, and I’m really not interested.
The Missing Person – No
A private eye is sent on a job to tail a man who was presumed dead after the 9/11 terrorist attacks from Chicago to LA and bring him back to his wife. This film has been described as, “delightfully strange noir,” by New York Magazine. I will pass.
Ninja Assassin – No
I feel like there have been 100 movies telling this story. Also, I am disappointed this is not a Tracy Morgan film.
Old Dogs – See
I saw the trailer for this film at the beginning of the summer and have been obsessed with it ever since. Robin Williams + John Travolta + Seth Green = win. Williams and Travolta play best bros dealing with being middle aged when Williams’ character discovers he is the father of tween-aged twins. Hilarious antics and learning to love follow. The trailer is too hilarious to not watch, so watch it.
The Road – Rent
Based on the critically-acclaimed Cormac McCarthy book, Viggo Mortensen stars in this post-apocalyptic drama that chronicles the journey of a man and his son as they try to make their way to the coast to find food and a new home. Please note that this is a fan-made trailer because apparently the official trailer is too “gaudy” and “bright.” Click here to watch the official trailer for The Road.
Me and Orson Welles – See
Zac Efron stars as a young, aspiring actor in 1937 New York City who comes into Orson Welles’ Mercury Theater Company just one week before the staging of his notable production of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. In that short time, he learns about life, love and art. I am really into Zac Efron lately, and I have and always will be into the lovely and oh so talented Claire Danes.
The Princess and the Frog – Rent
To quote the wise Mrs. Potts, this is a tale as old as time and it is about time Disney put their wonderful spin on it! Beloved composer Randy Newman is back, so this is a Disney film in the spirit of the classic Disney princess films like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty and so on. Plus, Disney’s first African-American princess!!! It’s a landmark moment.
The Private Lives of Pippa Lee – Rent
Robin Wright Penn stars as Pippa Lee, a woman who has everything but who also has led many lives. When she starts to tire of her “charmed existence,” she realizes that it isn’t too late to start a new one. Blake Lively co-stars as a young Pippa, and Keanu Reeves plays older Pippa’s reason for awakening. This sounds like a truly great story with rich characters and the kind of balance between funny and poignant that I adore.
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