WTF: Things That Are WACK This Week

In this issue: Selena Gomez is about to be the new Mel Gibson (not what you think it means); Hulu feels too cheap; Fox has no qualms about blatantly not backing Dollhouse; and an old wrestler accuses Rihanna of jockin' his style.

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Gomez is to Gibson as Ha Ha He He is to Ha Ha Ho

Miley Cyrus frenemy Selena Gomez has just been announced by New Line Cinema as the star of their new teen comedy What Boys Want. Gomez will star as a teenage girl who develops the ability to hear men’s thoughts. The movie isn’t even in pre-production yet, but for those Gomez fans out there who can’t wait, I recommend renting Mel Gibson’s 2000 romantic comedy What Women Want.

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Hulu Will Start Taking Your Money in 2010



The above song is dedicated to future formerly-free internet TV and movie streaming site Hulu. This week, Deputy Chairman of media conglomerate News Corp* Chase Carey spoke at the B&C OnScreen Media Summit and announced that, “It’s time to start getting paid for broadcast content online.” He went on to say (brace yourselves), “I think a free model is a very difficult way to capture the value of our content. I think what we need to do is deliver that content to consumers in a way where they will appreciate the value. Hulu concurs with that, it needs to evolve to have a meaningful subscription model as part of its business.” When asked when Hulu will be evolving exactly, Carey could only narrow the timeframe down to 2010. I think it is safe to say that everyone’s first reaction was horror (“NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”) followed quickly by outrage (“WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?”). Plus, there’s the added bonus of our intelligence being insulted when he says that bullshit about delivering content to us in a way where we will appreciate the value. Bitch, I know how to appreciate free!!! There aren’t enough words in any language to express how fucked up this is, to be honest. The general consensus here is that you cannot randomly start charging for something that has been free for years and expect your current set of users to 1. be pleased and 2. continue to use your service. I spent a few hours yesterday just reading comments on articles about this, and there were innumerable people who reacted by saying something along the lines of, “Goodbye forever, Hulu,” and, “Back to illegal downloading for me!” What is even more fucked up is that this Chase Carey person made this impending doom announcement without having any kind of planned formed with Hulu so that he could explain, “Here is the tentative plan for our new model and why we think people will actually pay a subscription fee to use our service even though we have never made people pay before.” Now we’re all just sitting around here fuming with anger and crying ourselves to sleep at night. We all knew deep down inside that eventually these assholes were going to try to make more money by making us suffer. I think we just didn’t know it would be this soon. My real concern here is how this will impact the availability of free TV streaming elsewhere—Fancast, network websites, etc. Sometimes shit happens like baseball and my DVR records all of House and 10 minutes of Lie to Me and I am forced to go online because no one believes in reruns anymore. If I and the rest of television-loving Americans have to start paying EVERYWHERE in addition to footing a cable bill with the added fee for a DVR, then shit is going to go DOWN, son!!! Hulu-defenders (yes, there are some) keep comparing this to Netflix, but NEWSFLASH, people! Netflix charges you for the DVD rentals. Their Watch Instantly service is technically free (although, obviously it is built into your plan somehow). Their plan prices decreased by a dollar or more right before they announced unlimited Watch Instantly access. Plus, I have always had to pay for Netflix. Netflix can do whatever the fuck it wants and I will be happy because they have always charged. LONG LIVE NETFLIX! Coincidentally, I deleted my Hulu account just hours before SWTS reader Rhiannon linked me to the article from Entertainment Weekly. Go fig!

*Note: News Corp owns Fox who owns part of Hulu.

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I’ll See Dollhouse in December



Already in danger of not getting a third season pickup, Fox has invented the Thanksgiving hiatus just for Dollhouse. After tonight’s episode airs, the show will not return until December. Meaning, Dollhouse is being cut out of November sweeps. This news comes after the show was already put on a week hiatus due to Fox's coverage of the MLB play-offs. While for any other show, this might not be such an outrageous action to take, it seems like a direct assault from the people at Fox. Dollhouse is struggling to survive. A lengthy hiatus like this might be the kiss of death for the series as the already small audience it has now will have trouble keeping track of new airings. Seems like Fox is looking to solidify a concrete excuse for cutting the show. In other words, this is not a good sign for the fate of the Dollhouse. The bright side: Fox plans on airing back-to-back episodes of Dollhouse from 8-10pm on December 4, 11 and 18 (6 new eps in 3 weeks!) to make up for the lost time. Read Joss Whedon's statement regarding the scheduling news in which he explains why this isn't that bad. The show will go back to its Friday at 9 timeslot the second week of January.

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Wrestler Accuses Rihanna of Stealing His Album Cover

The Sun reported Thursday that former ECW champion Paul Heyman is claiming that Rihanna stole the idea for her single cover of "Russian Roulette" from the photoshoot he did for the cover of an album of his wrestling theme songs. Look, this shit is just straight up amusing. Especially the part where he exclaims, "By the way, Rihanna... you're welcome!" at the end of the piece.


And THAT was the Week in WTF!