WTF: Things That Are WACK This Week

In this issue: more possible remakes of movies that are less than two decades old, this time with Beyonce; there's gonna be a MacGruber movie, no joke; if you don't buy Battlestar Galactica: The Complete Series, you might be able to pay your car payment next month; and Kelly Osbourne is a kettle calling pots "butter face."

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Beyonce Wants to Be Deloris van Cartier



Pop Crunch reports that Beyonce supposedly wants to star as Deloris Van Cartier in a remake of the 1992 hit Whoopi Goldberg film, Sister Act. Deloris, the lead character, was a lounge singer hiding out as a nun and going by the name of Sister Mary Clarence after witnessing her mobster boyfriend kill a man. The show has just been adapted for the stage as a musical now playing in London. I don't know whether this is true or not about Beyonce's secret dream to play Deloris, but let's pretend for a minute that it is. First, can we PLEASE stop remaking movies that have come out less than fifty years ago??? Seriously! If the story is so awesome, why not just encourage people to go rent the original flick? Second, Beyonce as Deloris...no. Just no! I liken this situation to that of Madonna covering Don McLean's "American Pie." Now the majority of people under the age of 18 think that "American Pie" is a weird and possibly lame Madonna song. The last thing I want for the children, who are our future mind you, is for them to think that Beyonce is Sister Mary Clarence. It just wouldn't be right. Whoopi delivered a flawless performance and created a movie that has been a part of my life, not just my childhood, for 17 years! Even if Beyonce could pull off the performance, which JUDGING FROM HER L'OREAL COMMERCIALS she cannot, all she would end up doing is erasing one of Whoopi Goldberg's greatest achievements from pop culture history. Just say no to remakes!

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MacGruber: The Movie...For Real

In the midst of a recession, Hollywood still shows no self-restraint. One of the non-Andy Samberg members of the Lonely Island, Jorma Taccone, has just signed on to direct a film about Will Forte's Saturday Night Live character, MacGruber. The character is based on Richard Dean Anderson's title role on the hit television series MacGyver. While college frat boys across the nation might be high-fiving each other right now and saying, "MacGruber is AWESOME!" I have some doubts. Considering the facts that 1. Will Forte is NOT Bill Hader (sometimes people get confused), 2. Will Forte made the film The Brothers Solomon and 3. nothing good has come out of an SNL skit being turned into a movie for over a decade, I just do not see this going well. Ryan Philippe and Val Kilmer are supposedly in talks to co-star, so I leave room for me to stand corrected later if this turns out to not be a total fail.

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Amazon Lets Me Down with BSG Prices

It's been a whirlwind of TV-on-DVD postings this week for Amazon. Battlestar Galactica: The Complete Series will be released on July 28, and Amazon has it available for pre-order. You can make this award-winning, brilliant sci-fi series a part of your home collection for the small price of $178.99. *Queue record-scratching sound effects.* Say WHAT?! Do the price-determining figureheads over at Amazon and Universal Studios not realize that BSG was only FOUR seasons long this making a box set price like that a complete and total rip-off? What is the incentive for people who already own the individual sets (and, as angry review comments reveal, those sets were purchased for a much lower price) to purchase the fancy packaging if there are no additional features and they're charging a good deal more than what any other four season series would be sold for? And that kind of a price tag isn't going to bring in newbies either because it would be stupid for someone to pay that much for a show he or she has never seen before. I'll be waiting until I can get my hands on the set for a much lower price (Half.com, anyone?), which might end up the safest route since box sets like these are notorious for manufacturer's defects.

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Kelly Osbourne is Confused

Kelly Osbourne told the UK's Daily Mirror that Lady GaGa is a, quote, "butter face." For those of you who don't know (and I only know this because of an episode of The Closer), the term "butter face" is used to refer to a woman who has an attractive body but an unattractive face. It appears Kelly Osbourne has forgotten the Golden Rule: only call other celebrities names that they would be able to call you back.


And THAT was the Week in WTF!


*Images: TV Media, Myspace, Star Pulse*