WTF: Things That Are WACK This Week

In this issue: Perez Hilton upset the world didn’t care he was punched in the face; People magazine still trying to tear celebs down, even when they’re dead; fans champion the most random women ever for Wonder Woman live action role; and, Amazon, I thought you knew me!

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Overplay the Victim, Turn Into the Monster

So, the MuchMusic Awards were last Sunday evening in Canada. And the only reason I know about that, aside from Lady GaGa’s flaming ta-tas, is the drama that brewed between members of the Black Eyed Peas and their entourage and celebrity gossip/most hated blogger of all time Perez Hilton. Apparently, Hilton was saying mean things about the Black Eyed Peas and Fergie in particular. BEP member Will.i.am went to ask Hilton if he could cool it and be respectful, but things quickly escalated. According to reports, Hilton verbally attacked Will.i.am and Hilton was punched in the face. Tour manager for the BEP Polo Molina has been charged with assault and Hilton filed a $25,000 lawsuit against Molina Wednesday citing that he was given a black eye, suffered “emotional distress” and that his civil rights were violated. Now, this situation in and of itself is fucked up, I know. But the real issue is what a fucking douchebag Hilton showed himself to be in response to this incident. First, instead of calling the police, Hilton took to his Twitter account to report the event, saying tweeting, “I'm in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please,” and then, “I was assaulted by Will.i.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.” The Toronto police were FLOODED with calls from people all over the globe thus causing them delayed responses to people with real emergencies and so on. So, the douchiness of tweeting FROM A CELL PHONE for OTHER PEOPLE to call the police (and, if you’re fucking tweeting, it seems like your injuries weren’t severe enough to stop you from reading a little tiny screen and accurately typing words with little tiny buttons) for you rather than calling the police yourself coupled with the fact that he then caused a severe abuse of the city of Toronto’s emergency resources is just too much. BUT IT GETS WOOOORSE! Forget the catty war that went on via Hilton’s blog and everyone’s Twitter accounts (calling Fergie “fugly” as retaliation, really?). When video of the altercation surfaced, it came out that Hilton had instigated the event by screaming belligerently at Will.i.am, calling him a “thug” and using derogatory terms that have caused GLAAD to publicly criticize Hilton for his conduct and the Matthew Shepard Foundation to refuse the donation of the proceeds of Hilton’s lawsuit against Molina. Everyone from Kelly Clarkson to Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz to John Mayer have openly made statements applauding the fact that Hilton was punched in the face and laughing at the notion that he was surprised. I feel as though I could rant about the layers of fuckedupitude that comprise this overall situation forever. In sum, Hilton is a douche, physical violence is never the answer, but Kelly Clarkson is a genius.

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The Lady From the Sneaker Pimps Would Call You Tasteless, People

This week was filled with Hollywood losses—Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. People magazine, in an attempt to pay tribute to Farrah and MJ, posted slideshows on People.com of some of their past covers featuring these stars. Perhaps they could have thought to remove the headlines from the covers. Here are some choice ways People chose to celebrate the lives of these people and mourn their deaths: “Did He Do It? What really happens at Neverland,” “Michael Jackson Cracks Up! Sex, drugs and the fall of the world’s biggest star,” for Michael; “Why Farrah Split… “I’m confused and frightened,” she says of her separation from Lee Majors, “but I’m determined to survive,” for Farrah. If this is how they pay tribute to someone, I really don’t want to see what it’s like when they try to bring somebody down! Oh, wait, that’s called People magazine.

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Wonder Woman Could Literally Be Anyone

This week, Super Hero Hype published the results of an online poll they conducted to determine who fans want to see play Wonder Woman in the live action film that has been in the works for what feels like a decade. The results were, to some including myself, shocking. How I Met Your Mother’s favorite Canadian Cobie Smulders ranked third on SHH’s list. Another name that’s been tossed in the hat that surprised me was Mandy Moore. I think we all know that I love me some Mandy, and I can totally see her looking tres Linda Carter in a Wonder Woman costume, but a bad ass action film star? Also, Sophia Bush—I feel like she is 12 because she is most well-known for being on One Tree Hill and, well, 12. For all of these ladies, it would be an impressive feat to say the least to break from their funny, innocent girl personas and truly embody the kickassedness of Wonder Woman. I just find myself most surprised by the fact that other random people cite these as the best casting choices rather than people more accustomed to action movie roles. But to each his or her own!

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Amazon, You Don’t Even Know Me Anymore

A couple days ago, I was checking up on my Amazon wishlist and decided to peruse through some of Amazon’s recommendations for me. That’s when I found out that because I recently purchased Mandy Moore’s album Amanda Leigh I should be interested in Eminem’s Relapse.


And THAT was the Week in WTF!



*Images: YouTube, Fan Art Exhibit, Amazon*